On August 30, Kim Jung-hwa’s YouTube channel released a video titled “Why I Gave Up Everything and Suddenly Disappeared,” in which she appeared with her husband, Yoo Eun-sung, to talk about life, faith and their marriage.
Looking back on her 20s, Kim Jung-hwa confessed that although her life in the entertainment industry appeared glamorous on the outside, she was going through a difficult period internally.
“I was raised in the Christian faith, but there were times when I felt confused while working in the entertainment industry,” she recalled. “I didn’t do anything extremely bad, but there were times when I thought, ‘Perhaps God wasn’t pleased with the way I was living.’”
She also revealed what ultimately made her give up her activities when her career was at its busiest. “I was struggling at the time. When I was having a difficult time, I thought I should study the Bible,” she said. “There came a point when I thought, ‘If I continue living like this, I might have some really dark thoughts.’ That was when I stopped all my activities.”
What makes her decision even more surprising is that it came during the height of her popularity. “That was when I was doing the best. I was working more than ever,” she recalled. “It wasn’t easy to let all of that go.”
Her agency also tried to persuade her to reconsider. However, Kim Jung-hwa said, “The company talked to me about it a lot, but I told them, ‘No. I feel like I’m going to die if I keep doing this, so I don’t think I can.’” She ultimately chose to step away from the industry.
Afterward, Kim Jung-hwa began studying the Bible. “That was the first time I really read the Bible,” she explained. “The stories in it felt so mysterious and fascinating, and I was grateful that I could believe them. I think that was when I truly began to believe.”
She continued, “I experienced what believers often describe as ‘seeing the world differently.’ I was in my mid-20s. As I studied the Bible, my life began to come alive again.”
Most importantly, Kim Jung-hwa described how different her inner state was from how others perceived her at the time. “Before that, everyone thought my life was glamorous, that I looked happy and that I was doing the best. But I was actually dead inside, and I was dying,” she said.
“Other people probably thought, ‘Kim Jung-hwa is gone now,’ or ‘She suddenly disappeared.’ But for me, that was when I experienced coming back to life,” she confessed.
Kim Jung-hwa also revealed that she formed a special bond with Agnes, an HIV-positive child she met during volunteer work in Africa. At the time, she was struggling emotionally, but her experience in Africa helped her look at the ordinary things in her life from a completely different perspective.
“I was born in South Korea, into a family where I had a home and could make a living. I was able to study, and I happened to make my debut and succeed. Until then, I thought all of that was normal,” she recalled. “But after visiting Africa, I realized that none of it could be taken for granted.”
She also honestly admitted that she had previously been consumed by thoughts such as, “Why do I have to be less successful than that person?”, “Why can’t I get advertisements like they do?” and “Why can’t I be the lead in a drama?”
However, her perspective completely changed after returning from Africa. Kim Jung-hwa said, “I began thinking, ‘I’m already so grateful just to play supporting roles,’ and ‘I’m so grateful simply to have somewhere I can act.’”
“As everything turned into gratitude, I think that became an opportunity for me to gradually overcome my depression,” she added.
Meanwhile, Kim Jung-hwa rose to fame as a beloved young star in the early 2000s, actively working across dramas, films and commercials. She married CCM singer and composer Yoo Eun-sung in 2013, and the couple have two sons.
Sources: Nate